TISL

This weekend I went to Nashville, TN to the capitol with SGA for TISL. TISL stands for the Tennessee Intercollegiate State Legislature. It was great! I'm a member of frosh council so I got to atttend with some members of SGA. It was about 22 of us. The University of Memphis had the largest delegation there and several won the offices of Governor, Speaker Pro-Tem of the House, Attornet General, and something in the Senate, I cant remember the name of it. But I really had a great time and I learned a lot. We went up there and had to pack 4 business outfits and the whole process was very formal. Before I went up there, I HATED politics. It was all just a stupid proceess and full of corrupt people who lie and make laws. (just to sum it all up) But between the time I got there (thursday) and the time I got back (Sunday) all of that changed. I have a GREATER appreciation for the whole process(even though i still believe a lot of the people are corrupt).

So basically this is what we did. Each day, we went to Capitol hill and went into the chamber where the TN representatives go. It was like, this big podium thing(the "well") and thats where the Speaker of the House sat. The judge guy with the gavel is what i called him. The rest of us (house member#.....is what he called us) sat at these podiums and passed and failed bills. It was like that stuff I used to watch on TV. Well, not watch. More like, pass by on TV when I was looking for a good movie. And some of those people were hilarious. The bills were very ...debatable. They ranged from gay marriage to bringing firearms on college campuses to smoking by college buildings doors. Some passed and some failed. But I met a lot of people and learned parliamentary procedure. I really want to go back next year. It was nice because it was business during the day( from like 9 to 7!) but fun at night! we went bowling, and to the arcade thing or whatever it was, and to hooters and a bunch of stuff i dont feel like mentioning. And even better. The school paid for everything.

My Dream Job

Every time someone asks me what I want to do as a career, they always laugh at my answer. Not a laugh like, "You're stupid" kind of laugh, but a "Wow" kind of laugh. I dont know whats so funny! My dream job is to work for DISNEY! To me, that seems like it would be the best job ever. I mean, it;s one of the biggest and most profitable companies in the whole entire world. Who wouldn't want to work for them?! That job would be amazing for me. Im usually a happy person and Im sure I would enjoy my job. My brother told me, "Make sure that whatever you choose to do, you would do it for free." I would definitely work for disney for free. Dont get me wrong. Im not here going to college to put on a Tigger costume and prance around Walt Disney World Resort. I want to be behind the scenes. Working for the business side of Disney. My major is markewting management. think about all the the cartoon stuff by Disney. Think about how often you see it. Think about where you see it. Its EVERYWHERE! Who do you think gets that stuff out there!!!! I think I would have the best freakin job in the world! Dont get me wrong, i dont think Im gooing to be playing around and goofing off all day, but I know I would kove my job. Who doesnt love DISNEY!!! And I like the competitive side of markeeting. It would be like a DISNEY VS NICKELODEON war. ok, Im goofy. but you have to admit, that's funny. I plan to go to Florida to participate in the Disney College Program. i would have done it in the spring, but i wanted to finish my freshman year here. Gert into the "groove" of college before i just suddenly leave. I have it all planned out. I'm going to get my dream job by any means necessary! Think about Wayne Brady. He started out as Goofy walking aroungd the theme park(yes, I've done research. Well, actually he was interviewed on the Tyra Show but still!) Look at him now! He's like, in every show and on every channel! Disney is the greatest thing since sliced bread! Like, I dont even know which came first!!! Tehehe

*FeArS*

I was looking at the weather forcast online the other day because the weather has been so retarded I have to check ever night to know what to wear in the morning, and I saw a story about a man who died from falling down an elevator shaft. That terrified me! Like, no really it did. For some reason, I have this crazy idea that one day I'm either going to A. get stuck on the elevator or even worse B. have it crash down to the bottom while I'm on it! That may seem crazy and wierd and all that stuff but I am SO serious. And it made me think about all of the other things I'm afraid of. All of the concrete things are obvious: SPIDERS, rats & mice, snakes(well, not really unless they're coming after me or something), and serial killers and rapists and all that good stuff. But that's normal stuff for girls to be afraid of. So I'm going to talk about the things I'm afraid of the most. Thunderstorms, darkness, and failure.





Thunderstorms


It seems so juvenile for a college student to be afraid of thunderstorms but I truly am scared! Go ahead and laugh! It's sad, I know! But something about the combination of lightening, thunder, and the possibility of tornadoes freaks me out. I just sit in one room and look at tv, flipping channels between a sitcom and the news until its over. I really do believe something happened in my shildhood that has me this way. Probably a book I read or a movie I watched or something. Seriously.





Darkness


Yes, Im afraid of the dark. Not the " you turn off the lights and I scream" kind of scared. But I can't walk into dark rooms. I cant get out of bed at night unless i turn on a light. I can't walk around a dark house. It freaks me out. I think someone waiting one me or something. I'm strange like that. For some reason, a lot of people think this is strange. I disagree.



Failure



This isn't like the other two. This is like, the most important of all. The one thing that motivates me in school and basically everything else I do id my fear of failing in...basically, life. I dont want to be a college dropout who can't get a job. I consider that failure. I dont like failing tests. Or classes period. i feel like its all going to lead up to me failing in life. I haven't the slightest idea where that came from, but it sort of...developed the past few years. I've never had this fear before until then. I just make sure i try really hard in school to make sure this doean't happen. I want to get a good job and all that good stuff.

THE RAKE: Scenes- Throwing the rake at his sister

I think the scene when he threw the rake and hit his sister was one of the most important scenes in the story. the brother, obviously did not have intentions on hurting his sister, but it was done out of frustration. I feel like the sister knew this because she did not tell on her brother. They both remained silent and knew he was sorry. The thing I noticed most from this was the brother-sister relationship because my brother and I are very close. The brother and sister in the story were both in the abusive situation so they were more than likely understanding of each others feelings.m i do not think the brother actually thought about throwing the rake and hurting her before he did it, but many times in life, your feelings get the best of you. You do things before you can even realize you've done them. By that time, it is too late, and the damage has already been done. The only thing you can do apologize and mean it.

My brother and I have done evil things to each other MANY times, but we still remain very close. When we were small, we woiuld always get into trouble together, nut when my mom asked, he would always sayu it was just him; he would never tell on me. Yet, when she asked me, I would never tell on myself! i always put the blame on him. And it has, been that way ever since. he has me spoiled rotten and I will tell him things I dont even tell my mom. As a matter of fact, we have SO many inside things between us, my mom gets mad because we don't tell her. She once said, "Man, yall ALWAYS keep stuff from me. Yall have done that since yall were little!" and put her sad face on. We just laughed at her. Its only my brother and I and i'm glad. I feel like I always have someone there to protect me and a best friend to talk to. I also remember how when we were younger, he beat up guys that picked on me! Now that I think about it, its kind of funny. But my mom has always told him, "never let anyone pick on your sister. Yall gotta stick together". And that's exactly what we do. I didnt let the stupid girls my brother dated talk bad about him when they felt like he messed up. " Accept the fact that he doesn't like you!" that was my motto. he's also the reason I like football and video games!

THE RAKE: What is it about?- Perception

I think that perception has a lpt to do with the essay. The author viewed things differently now that he is an adult than when he was a child. For example, he saw his mother and sister get abused as a child, but did not attribute this abuse to his grandfather abusing his mother until later on in his life. Also, as a child, he stated that they would laugh at the "car joke" when his parents polayed it with him. As an adult, this is recognizable as a sign of abuse.

When one grows up from a child to an adult, perception changes. One begins to see that things are not wheat they seemed as a child, and one begins to notice things not noticed before. i have noticed that as I get older, I begin to look for the meaning behind certain things more and question why certain things happen. I did not do this as a child. i have also learned to appreciate many simple things in life more, than when I did when I was younger. In the story, the author says how, as a child, his home and nature could have been beautiful, but it was not. His perception changed as he grew from a child to a man. He notices how he could have enjoyed the cornfields and the "pleasures" that were present, but he did not, because of the situation he was in.

I notice some things I think differently about as well. It's obvious i'm not as old as the author, but I can recognize a few differences. As a child, I thought the world was perfect. Even though my mother warned me to stay away from strangers and all of the other pre-school warnings, I never had to deal with any crime. no one ever tried to snatch me, lure me with candy, or ask me have I seen their lost puppy dog. I was not aware of bad things that happened. My attention was kept by the good things.

I also thought my mom was perfect. LIE!!!!! Well, she's not bad or anything, but she makes her mistakes like any other human being. I thought she knew the answer to every question. She doesn't. I thought she didn't cry. She does. I also thought her name was "mama". Its Sharon, believe it or not! I had this same opinion about the friends I had. Everyone was my best friend, bad things would never ever happen, and we would stay friends for ever and ever. I dont even know where those people are.

THE RAKE: Concrete object- cornfield

When I read the part of the children walking past the cornfield with the developing homes on one side and the cornfield on the other, it made me think of isolation, Their homw was isolated because it was a "model home" in an area all by itself, while the others were being built. the school was isolated-- it was being built in the middle of nowhere a mile away from their home. The children were also isolated bacause they suffered abuse and there was no one there to help them.

Cornfields can also seem kind of eerie. It reminds me of a horror movie. In the scenes, there is always someone running through a cornfield being by chased by someone or something out to harm them. The cornfield sort of represents this same theory. The eerie feeling comes in because the parents do not have the children's best interest at heart and put them through constant abuse, therefore being the person chasing them. Yet they can not get away. They have no where to go. Isolation.

The cornfield represented isolation to me because I was able to relate it to something else. Being alone and having nowhere to go. A cornfield is viewed as big empty space. That's how people feel when they are alone. They are in a space all by themselves and have no where to turn to. Cornfields are also sometimes turned in to mazes. I sometimes feel this way when people do not understand me and I feel as if I have nowhere else to turn to. I never associated this to a cronfield until I read this story.

In Response to the comments...

O.k. people..... In response to the comments on my blog, I appreciated them. all of them. but I don't think everyone understood what I was trying to say. I do not expect everyone to feel the same about the death of someone they dont know. No I did not expect everyone to break down and cry. No i dont expect yall to be as angry and/ or upset as others. I cried in class because I was angry to hear such harsh opinions about such a tragic subject. I did not know Taylor as well as many others. i had just met him when I came to school. But I would NEVER say those things about someone who dies. If it was someeone close to yall, no I probably would not cry, but I would NOT say to you, "it doesnt matter to me". Death always matters. And when it happens to a fellow classmate, it matters because it was close to you. We are all apart of one school. So dont think I was crying because no one was crying with me. I didnt expect you to. When I heard about it, i didnt cry. That was my first time. It was just very upsetting to see that people actually have such cold hearts. My sympathy goes to ANY and EVERY one who has to experience a death. It's called compassion. So instead of saying it doesnt affect you, how about saying, It was a sad experience. I would give you the same respect.