I was looking at the weather forcast online the other day because the weather has been so retarded I have to check ever night to know what to wear in the morning, and I saw a story about a man who died from falling down an elevator shaft. That terrified me! Like, no really it did. For some reason, I have this crazy idea that one day I'm either going to A. get stuck on the elevator or even worse B. have it crash down to the bottom while I'm on it! That may seem crazy and wierd and all that stuff but I am SO serious. And it made me think about all of the other things I'm afraid of. All of the concrete things are obvious: SPIDERS, rats & mice, snakes(well, not really unless they're coming after me or something), and serial killers and rapists and all that good stuff. But that's normal stuff for girls to be afraid of. So I'm going to talk about the things I'm afraid of the most. Thunderstorms, darkness, and failure.
Thunderstorms
It seems so juvenile for a college student to be afraid of thunderstorms but I truly am scared! Go ahead and laugh! It's sad, I know! But something about the combination of lightening, thunder, and the possibility of tornadoes freaks me out. I just sit in one room and look at tv, flipping channels between a sitcom and the news until its over. I really do believe something happened in my shildhood that has me this way. Probably a book I read or a movie I watched or something. Seriously.
Darkness
Yes, Im afraid of the dark. Not the " you turn off the lights and I scream" kind of scared. But I can't walk into dark rooms. I cant get out of bed at night unless i turn on a light. I can't walk around a dark house. It freaks me out. I think someone waiting one me or something. I'm strange like that. For some reason, a lot of people think this is strange. I disagree.
Failure
This isn't like the other two. This is like, the most important of all. The one thing that motivates me in school and basically everything else I do id my fear of failing in...basically, life. I dont want to be a college dropout who can't get a job. I consider that failure. I dont like failing tests. Or classes period. i feel like its all going to lead up to me failing in life. I haven't the slightest idea where that came from, but it sort of...developed the past few years. I've never had this fear before until then. I just make sure i try really hard in school to make sure this doean't happen. I want to get a good job and all that good stuff.
1 comment:
I used to be like that with thunderstorms, but now I usually just go to sleep when it rains or storms. But one thing I am terrified of is the dark, and I have always been that way. And it is so wierd because my little sister thinks I am crazy. But I hate getting up in the middle of the night when the whole house is dark. It used to be really bad, like I would make my sister get up and cut on a light or something. And I know it's sad but I slept with a night light until I was like 12.
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